Living Quarters: My House Hunting Experience

My husband and I spent a few months of 2020 looking for a new house. Like many millenials post-COVID, we ran out of reasons to live in the city (no longer needed to commute to work, needed two home offices, many businesses were closed or had limited hours, no longer spending our time in restaurants and bars), and gained one big reason to live in the suburbs (our baby on-the-way)!

When we started searching, my MdDS symptoms were higher than they are currently, and I was more prone to vestibular migraine attacks and symptoms.  Ever since my onset trip, my brain had always had an “adjustment period” to new places, which usually created a few minutes of elevated rocking, bobbing, or swaying until I got comfortable with my surroundings.  Overall, I felt was managing pretty well, though. Oddly enough, I didn’t anticipate house hunting being a challenge… 

Our first day out looking at houses, I realized quickly that it was going to be harder than I thought. We looked at a place with an enclosed staircase, and my “boat feeling” immediately worsened.  I decided then that if I couldn’t see an open staircase in the house-preview pictures, we weren’t going to look at the house.  

Early in our search, we found a really cool house that had almost everything we were looking for… until we reached the basement.  It had low ceilings, uneven floors, no windows, and those awful cylinder lights that tend to blink as they start to go out.  I could feel a migraine coming on… my MdDS immediately ramped up and my head started to feel swollen.  

I realized then that I needed to carry my rescue medication (Timolol Maleate eye drops) with me all the time.  I put a dropper in my purse, and it has come in handy so many times since (house hunting and otherwise).

Besides the migraine, the other part that really sucked about this situation was that we loved the other aspects of the house!  We agreed at the time that we couldn’t live somewhere that I couldn’t use the basement.  Even if we changed the lights, the enclosed space and uneven-ness of the floors would probably always be a trigger.  

It’s always hard when these types of situations come up.  I’m feeling like I have things under control, that I’m doing really well… then something comes along to remind me of my limitations.  Those automatic negative thoughts, like, “If I weren’t sick, we could have bought this house,” or “My husband can’t get the house he wants because of my illness,” are difficult to ignore.

When I brought myself back to reality, I realized I was just really lucky to be looking for a house in the first place.  Plus, the right house for us was going to be something that we both loved and felt good in.  

It took a few months of searching, but we eventually found a house with everything we both needed.  For me, that was lots of natural light, an above-grade basement, no crazy patterns on tile or flooring, a glass-door shower, no slanted or low ceilings, and rooms with an open feeling. 

Here we are celebrating the first day in our new home!
(Don’t worry – it’s just juice!)

As I searched, I made a list of triggers.  Hopefully they will help you if you are house or apartment hunting this year!  It helped me to look at the photos online beforehand and eliminate any houses with obvious triggers. Have a loved-one or real-estate agent do it for you if you are struggling with technology. Pass on this list to them!

House or Apartment Hunting Triggers:

  • low ceilings
  • slanted or uneven ceilings
  • uneven floors
  • busy tile, carpeting, and flooring patterns (if you aren’t planning to renovate)
  • make sure light fixtures can be changed or updated if LED, fluorescent, or exposed bulbs are present
  • make sure there is enough natural light to support your circadian rhythms
  • avoid enclosed spaces, like narrow stairwells or tiny powder rooms
  • avoid buildings that require elevator use if this is a trigger

What would you add?  Tell me in the comments!

I’ve been working on a more tip-focused blog with my business partner, Kelly, for people with Mal de Debarquement Syndrome, Vestibular Migraine, and/or Migraine.  We have a few posts with strategies for various daily challenges, and we will be adding more in the future.  These are especially great for those who are new to the dizzy life! Check it out here:

Pregnant Without Land Legs: The First Trimester

If you missed my last post, I’m pregnant with my first baby!  My husband and I are so grateful and excited for our little girl!

I was dying to know and read anything I could about what pregnancy would be like with mal de debarquement syndrome (MdDS) and/or vestibular migraine (VM), so I’m sharing with you all the things I wanted to know.  

Am I in Remission? Not Yet. 

I had a feeling that I was pregnant before even taking a test because I didn’t wake up with my usual monthly spike in MdDS symptoms.  I was so excited at the possibility that pregnancy would finally “stop the rock,” but so far I’m still without land legs. I have hope for more stillness as the weeks go on, though!  I’ve heard wonderful tales of women who had a baby and never had symptoms again!  

Baseline Before Baby

My symptoms were the lowest they had ever been when I found out I was pregnant, both the rocking/bobbing/swaying of MdDS and the vertigo, head pain, and auras of vestibular migraine.  I was on a pregnancy-safe treatment plan of daily Timolol Maleate eyedrops, Cefaly use, and supplements. Being only at home or outside most of the time, it’s rare that I’m exposed to triggers I can’t manage, aside from the weather. Overall, I was feeling pretty in-control, with symptoms usually around a 1-2 (out of 10).

My light sensitivity had disappeared for normal daily activities (although flashing lights or strobes must be avoided). I was able to use the Cefaly device at the first sign of a migraine (head pain or increase in vertigo) to stop it from escalating or make it disappear.  The Timolol Maleate drops I was using had calmed down my visual vertigo and seemed to lower my overall baseline. (For more info on my treatments, check out Two Years Without Land Legs).  Luckily, I’ve been able to continue these treatments while pregnant.

Motion Sickness and “Morning” Sickness

The hallmark of my first trimester was “morning sickness,” which lasted all day and night.  The doctor called it “nausea and vomiting,” but it felt more like “always ready to throw up” and “unable to avoid throwing up.”  I had nausea (like a seasick feeling) almost constantly my first year of MdDS/VM, but this was on a whole other level. This is pretty common with pregnancy in general, but I do think having MdDS/VM likely made it worse.

I read that women who are prone to motion sickness are more likely to experience morning sickness. Around week 7 or 8, I started getting motion sick riding in the car, followed by an increase in MdDS symptoms and nausea/vomiting after getting out of the car.  Ginger (in the form of ginger chews), eating constantly, drinking juice, and Sea Bands seemed to the help in some situations. 

Vestibular Migraine and Vomiting

On literally the worst day of the first trimester, I was throwing up constantly, unable to even keep down small sips of water. After a few hours of this, I had a pretty bad headache, so I put on my Cefaly for an hour. Oddly enough, my nausea started to improve. I was able to keep down water, and slowly start eating small bits of food. I don’t have a solid theory as to why the Cefaly would help stop vomiting, but it does make me think there is a migraine and morning sickness connection.

Dizziness and Vertigo

Throughout the first trimester I had temporary surges of dizziness and vertigo, but I think because I’ve managed it in the past, it did not bother me as much as the morning sickness.  Before I was pregnant, I had completely stopped having random spins, elevator drops, or other sudden vertigo experiences. After I found out I was pregnant, it started again intermittently.  It usually happens most at the grocery store or when it’s raining.

Rocking, Bobbing, and Swaying

The good thing is, that despite the uptick in symptoms after car rides or vomiting, my rocking/bobbing/swaying baseline remained at a 1-2. I have had some stretches during the day where my MdDS-type motion sensations are very low, hard-to-detect, or barely noticeable! It’s hard to say if I’ve reached complete stillness or not… I am not quite sure what that feels like anymore! Weather was the only trigger this trimester that really increased my symptoms for more than a short time.

Emotions and Fatigue

With hormones running wild and so many body changes happening, I definitely felt a lot moodier than normal. I was exhausted all day, every day. I’ll be honest, it felt nearly impossible stay positive when I was feeling so terrible, tired, and disgusted all the time. I felt guilty a lot of days about how little I was able to accomplish. It helped me to mentally “surrender” to what I was experiencing – to just focus on “being” (not doing) and getting through it. I felt worse on the days I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to get things done. Meditations on the Expectful app were helpful, as was using a daily gratitude journal.

It Gets Easier

Many of the symptoms I experienced are common in pregnancy even without MdDS or VM, so I really don’t want anyone to get discouraged reading this! Honestly, the first trimester was hard, and at the time it felt very long (and like it would never end). But, as I entered the second trimester, things shifted and I started to feel much better! It was a very difficult stretch, but worth it.

The way that so many pregnant women experience similar symptoms week-to-week is fascinating to me, and it reminded me of the way I felt when I realized how many people with MdDS and VM experience similar symptoms. We are all connected in our human journeys. If others before us have done it, we can too!

Wishing you wellness and stillness!


P.S. If you are at the beginning of your vestibular journey or struggling to get back to living a life you love, I would love to help you! Learn more about working with me to adapt to your condition and overcome challenges:

Pregnant Without Land Legs: Facts and Fears

On the second anniversary of losing my land legs, my life changed forever again.  This time for the better. I found out…. I’m pregnant with my first baby!  My husband Ian and I are so excited and grateful.  It seems poetic somehow that these events happened on the same day, exactly two years apart. 

I planned on having kids earlier, but when my “sea voyage” began, it seemed impossible.  The waves I felt were often so strong that I didn’t feel stable enough to hold a baby while standing.  Even as things got better, I was terrified that becoming pregnant would make my symptoms worse.  Until this year, I didn’t have a doctor who understood my condition enough to help me through pregnancy, so facing it without a treatment plan was scary.  

I had wanted to have kids my whole life, but I had never pictured myself being a mom with a chronic illness.  I started working with a therapist to help me deal with my fears surrounding symptoms, pregnancy, and motherhood.  

The turning point for me mentally came during one of those horrible, scary vertigo days that seem to come out of nowhere.  I was reading before bed one night, and the words in front of me began to sway.  If you close one eye, open it, then close the other eye and open it, really quickly over and over again, that was what my vision looked like with both eyes open.  

I woke up the next day with the same problem.  None of my usual strategies seemed to help at all.  It was scary, hard to function, and really frustrating.  I don’t know what triggered it.  

The visual issue became intermittent and faded after a day, but it made me realize that pregnant or not, things can and probably will get worse, anytime, without a trigger, and without warning.  I realized it was time to move on with my life, and not let the fear of potential future suffering hold me back from starting a family.  

I tried to find out as much as I could about pregnancy, mal de debarquement syndrome (MdDS), and vestibular migraine.  Here are some of the interesting facts I discovered:

  • Approximately 80% of women with MdDS feel better while pregnant (trimester not specified)
  • 50-80% of women with migraines experience a reduction in attacks while pregnant
  • About 63% of all women experience dizziness while pregnant, and around 35% of those women experience vertigo

Here are some anecdotes I was told by doctors and dizziness professionals:

  • Many women with vestibular migraine experience an increase in dizziness and vertigo during the first trimester, but feel better in the second and third trimesters.
  • Some women with MdDS start to feel better as soon as they get pregnant, even to the point where all symptoms stop completely! This sounded too good to be true, but after doing a search on a few different MdDS Facebook groups, I found a few posts from women who experienced this!
  • Many women with migraine disorders feel worse in the first trimester as hormones shift, then feel better starting in the second trimester when hormones stabilize. 
  • Pregnancy itself can trigger the onset of both vestibular migraines and MdDS (spontaneous or motion-triggered).  My doctor recommended avoiding boats or other types of transportation that could trigger symptoms.  
  • Women prone to motion sickness are often prone to morning sickness. 

I was so excited at the idea that pregnancy could stop the MdDS for a while, but the outlook for vestibular migraine symptoms didn’t seem as good! In my next post, I’ll tell you all about my first trimester.

If you are new to MdDS and/or VM and looking for a guide and support, I’d love to coach you! Learn more about meeting with me for help with VM and MdDS management here:

Symptom Lists for VM and MdDS

“What are your symptoms?”

“Um… where do I even begin?!? I feel like I’m on a boat all the time. I get migraines… and by migraines I mean headaches. Sometimes I get dizzy, like a spinning feeling. I also feel numbness or tingling sometimes. Oh yeah! I used to be really sensitive to light, but that seems better. My ears ring sometimes, too. I know there is more. Hold on, let me think…”

Has this happened to anyone else at the doctor’s office? I remember when I was seeking out a vestibular migraine diagnosis, I started telling my neurologist about having head pain and random spells of spinning. At previous appointments, we had mostly talked about MdDS. He said, “Oh so you don’t feel like you’re on a boat anymore? Sounds like you are getting better.”

I was actually having constant MdDS symptoms. I had just failed to mention them that day because they weren’t my main concern at the appointment. I realized I was having so many symptoms that it was hard for me to remember to mention them all, and it was hard for the neurologist to keep track! That’s when I decided to make a checklist!

I have gone to a few different specialists since then, and I started working with a different neurologist in April. It’s been super helpful to have or share my checklist of symptoms for each appointment. I print out a new copy and check the boxes before each appointment.

Here is why:

  • I don’t forget to mention any symptoms or triggers
  • I can look back over time (usually months) and see which symptoms have stopped, improved, or started up again
  • I can give a copy to the doctor to keep in their files
  • I can track benefits of any treatments I’m trying from appointment to appointment

I’ve been feeling really good lately, so I finally got around to sprucing up my symptom checklists into shareable print-ables!

Here are the links:

Download the Vestibular Migraine Symptom and Trigger List

Download the Mal de Debarquement Syndrome Symptom and Trigger List

If you use them, let me know how it goes!

I’m working on some exciting updates about my personal journey to share soon. 🙂

Wishing you wellness and stillness!

Unfixed: A Documentary About MdDS and Other Chronic Conditions

I am so excited about this documentary! It was created by Kimberly Warner, a filmmaker with Mal de Debarquement Syndrome. Not only does it feature her story, but also the stories of others with MdDS and Vestibular Migraine!

The description and visuals at the beginning are dead on, and worth showing to friends and family to help them understand our condition!

I love that the documentary not only shines a light on the struggles of people with chronic conditions and disabilities, but also raises awareness about MdDS.

Unfixed also has a YouTube Channel, featuring honest and inspiring content about living life without a cure. It highlights the resilience required to live “unfixed” and celebrates the diversity of the human condition.

Check it out to support our vestibular and chronic community!

Two Years Without Land Legs

Two years without land legs, and this is what I’ve learned:

Treatment for vestibular migraines has helped my MdDS symptoms. I was diagnosed this year with vestibular migraines (in addition to Mal de Debarquement Syndrome), and I’m really thankful I sought out another opinion.  Being labeled with the official diagnosis motivated me to do more research into treatment options, lifestyle changes, and new doctors. It has helped make sense of some of my strangest and scariest symptoms, and has helped me find new and more effective treatments.  I’m without a doubt having the lowest symptoms yet and feeling the best I’ve felt in 2 years (see below for treatment details).

I had to keep trying stuff in order to get better. I went through a few months this year feeling completely hopeless about the endless rocking, light sensitivity, and lack of doctors who understand. However, once I got the energy back to research, try new things, read more, and schedule appointments with new doctors, it helped me move forward in the healing process somehow (even if it didn’t seem like it at the time).  I’m so glad now that I didn’t give up.

Grief over a chronic illness comes back in waves.  This time last year, I thought I had fully accepted my challenges and “new normal.” But as new challenges arose, so did those old feelings.  I’ve learned to accept my grief when it comes, and not view it as a problem to be fixed.  I try not to dwell on anything too long; I journal, count my blessings, and look for the silver linings. I’ve reached a good balance of accepting that MdDS and VM are a part of my life right now, while making space for hope that more healing is on the way. 

I’ve spent my adult life underestimating my own need for rest and mindfulness. I think a big contributing factor to the onset of MdDS was the way I was living my life before.  I was a total coffee addict, my motto was to “do all the things,” I stayed up as late as possible on the weekends, and my answer for every problem was to do more or push harder.  I would fill my vacations with sightseeing instead of relaxing. I was always planning the next thing to do or say, rarely completely present. It’s been hard to let that side of me go. But, since I’ve realized this and made down time and living in the moment a priority, I’m much more at ease, and my symptoms are lower.

Here are the things that have helped me improve or stabilize my symptoms this year:

  • Timolol Maleate Eye Drops 0.5% (read more)
  • Cefaly (read more)
  • Clonozepam as needed for high symptoms or to prevent a regression
  • Supplements: Magnesium Glycinate and L-Theorate, Vitamin B2, Vitamin D3, and CoEnzyme Q10, Multi-Vitamin
  • Reading, learning, getting inspired, and questioning my negative thoughts
  • Prioritizing rest, play, routines, and mental stillness

Here are the things I thought had helped me last year, but now I’m not so sure:

  • Cyproheptadine (4mg daily): I realized after I stopped taking it that it made me hungry all the time!  It seems likely that taking it for so long also contributed to some food allergies and triggered GI inflammation.
  • Vigorous Exercise:  When I was on the cyproheptadine, it was preventing most of my migraines, so it was much easier to do vigorous exercise. Now I’ve realized that there are days that I feel best if I stick to walking and yoga.

People have the natural tendency to value things they work hard for.  With MdDS and VM, I’ve had to work harder for everything.  In turn, I think I am more grateful for the small daily stuff, which it turns out, adds up to be the big stuff. 

My voyage, although much smoother now, continues and adventure awaits!

A Break in the Waves: The Cefaly

After trying the Timolol Maleate eye drops for 6 weeks, I was feeling a lot better, but I was still getting migraines (in addition to the sensation of constant rocking/bobbing/swaying, of course).  For me, “migraines” mean head pain, brain fog, vertigo, visual auras, bursts of tinnitus, and numbness. I was still experiencing constant light sensitivity, and the increased time on technology required to work from home was challenging.  

My doctor prescribed the Cefaly device.  According to the website, it is an external trigeminal nerve stimulation device.  It sends tiny electrical impulses to modify pain transmission and processing in the trigeminal nerve, which plays a large role in migraines and sensory sensitivities.

There are two ways to use it:

  1. Preventative Setting: Use 20 minutes daily to prevent migraine attacks and symptoms.
  2. Acute Setting: Use 60 minutes to stop or reduce migraines during an attack.

To use the Cefaly, you place an electrode on your forehead, which the device sticks to (it’s a magnet).  The Cefaly vibrates, starting almost imperceptibly, then increasing the strength of the vibrations to calm the trigeminal nerve.

For me, the hope was that the device would not only prevent or stop migraine attacks, but that it would also reduce light sensitivity and the constant motions of Mal de Debarquement Syndrome.

Following my first use of the Cefaly, I felt a slight headache, but also a rush of calm and ease.  I was excited to keep using it.  

Later that day, I started to feel vibrations when I wasn’t wearing the Cefaly.  I wasn’t surprised because this kind of thing had happened to me before. I believe it’s a symptom of MdDS (but if you have VM and this happens to you, too, let me know!).   As you know, I relive the motions of boat rides and other transportation, but I also have to avoid things like electric toothbrushes or rolling chairs, because if I use them, I tend to relive those motions later in the day throughout my body (e.g. spinning toothbrush = feeling spinning motions, rolling chair = feeling like I’m rolling when I’m not moving).

The vibrations didn’t really bother me at first.  They seemed to block out the rocking/bobbing/swaying, so vibrating instead felt like an improvement!  After a week though, it was starting to drive me crazy.  I felt like my migraine symptoms were improving, but I was going about my day surprised by vibrations in my legs, arms, face, and feet, lasting minutes to hours.  Sometimes my vision looked like it was vibrating.  

Ready to give up on it, I messaged my doctor.  He said to keep the Cefaly on a lower setting (by pressing the button on the front) to stop it from increasing the vibrations.  This would hopefully keep the vibrations low enough to help, but not strong enough to relive them. I was skeptical, but I figured it was worth a shot.  

It totally was.  The vibrations quickly became tolerable and less frequent. Over the next few weeks, I started to feel really good.  I didn’t have any migraines.  I felt calmer.  I noticed that I was working on my computer without light sensitivity glasses.  Before the Cefaly, my eyes felt strained just looking at a screen without them, but now I wasn’t even noticing if I had them on or not.  

One night, as I lay in bed, I could feel the bed beneath my body… and nothing else.  No movement.  I figured it was just a coincidence, and I fell asleep.  

A few nights later, the same thing happened.  

One day, I felt a rush of movement all of a sudden, rocking front to back.  The motion wasn’t uncommon for me, but the fact that I hadn’t been noticing any motion before this sensation was the remarkable part!  Was I actually having periods of stillness?

I can’t say with 100% certainty that I am.  I’ll be honest, I’ve been in constant motion so long that I’m not totally sure what stillness feels like.  I am sure that compared to what I’ve been feeling for two years, this is a significant improvement. 

The dreaded week came where I get my monthly migraine(s).  Usually by 4:00 on the first day of my period, I’m pretty much done for. Sometimes the attacks themselves can last up to 3 days.  Usually I feel “off” for the next 5-7 days with brain fog, head pain, and increased dizziness.  

As always, around 4:00, I could feel a migraine coming on.  I put the Cefaly on the acute setting.  When I took it off, I felt normal!  I went on with my evening without restrictions!  I started to get head pain again around 9:00, put on the Cefaly again, and all symptoms disappeared.  The rest of the week, I felt good!  No migraines.  No increased dizziness.  No auras.  No brain fog.

A few other days I felt a migraine coming on, I used the Cefaly for 20-60 minutes (depending on how much time I had). It has worked every time. It’s not perfect, but I’m always able to function normally without head pain, even if I have other symptoms.

I’ve had a few more nights and early mornings feeling completely stable.  I haven’t had a full migraine attack since I started using the Cefaly.  My computer and phone had been on “night mode” orange for two years, but last week I finally changed the settings back to normal with no problems!  I stopped reliving the Cefaly vibrations all the time… now it’s more like an occasional, short-lived sensation.  I continue to feel rocking/bobbing/swaying motions, but I would say I feel anywhere from a 30-60% improvement on average.  

I have no affiliation or connection to the Cefaly company. I don’t get any money for posting this. I am simply sharing because it has helped me so much!  I honestly have hope that if things keep going this way I could feel normal again.  I’m so grateful to have something else in my toolbox to help me cope with my symptoms.  

There are a few other changes in my lifestyle that I want to mention, because I think often it’s a mix of factors that allow the body to heal.  I have been taking supplements since March (Co-Enzyme Q-10, Magnesium, Vitamin D, Vitamin B2).  I have been taking probiotics and experimenting with dietary modifications since December. Like most people, I have spent most of my time at home or outside since March, which I think is relevant because it has helped me limit my exposure to some triggers (although I’m spending more time on screens).  I quit my stressful full-time job to start my own business, which isn’t necessarily less stressful, but I absolutely love my work now and feel more positive about the future. 

Any questions?  Ask me anything in the comments!

If you are looking for any support throughout your healing process, I would love to meet with you!  I work with my friend Kelly, an occupational therapist, and we provide solutions and strategies to help people make changes to their daily lives, reach their goals, and start living better days!  To find out more or to schedule, visit our website: or message me!

New Treatment and New Gig

New Treatment

For the past 3 months, I’ve been using Timolol Maleate 0.5% eye drops, which are prescribed to treat Vestibular Migraine (VM).  My neurologist prescribed them with the hope that by reducing my VM symptoms, my MdDS symptoms would also decrease. He recommended using one drop in each eye twice daily for symptom prevention, and an additional dose at the onset of a migraine or during an increase in dizziness or vertigo. 

For the first month, I didn’t notice much of a difference in symptoms with regular use.  I did recognize that the drops took an edge off any head pain, so I kept using them.  

Then, one day, my visual field started swaying violently, back and forth like a boat, and I put the drops in.  Just like that, the visual motion calmed down significantly.  I was so relieved!  

A few days later, it was storming, and I picked up a book to try to read.  The words were moving in a U shape, making it impossible to focus on any word.  I went and put the eyedrops in, and like magic, the motions calmed down enough so I could read again!  

Before the eye drops, I was unable to work on a computer or read when I would have these “episodes.” Having the drops has been a total game changer!  The other medicines I had tried for migraine or dizziness attacks made me too tired to function, but with the drops, I could go on with my day.

After about 6 weeks, I would estimate that using the drops resulted in a 10% decrease in the feeling of rocking, bobbing, or swaying caused by MdDS. 

They don’t work perfectly, and there are times I still need to use a stronger rescue medication, but I have to say, these drops have significantly improved my quality of life.  I love that they are portable, I can use them anywhere at any time, and that I haven’t had any side effects from using them. 

I hope that they might help you, too!

I first heard about the eye drops from this video.  I was especially excited to find this video because Dr. Beh specifically mentions MdDS!

New Gig

In the early days, pushing through my highest symptoms, one thought always prevailed: “How do I live like this?” I asked medical professionals, and I got some prescriptions, but it was never enough to actually help me get through the day-to-day struggle. The best ideas and strategies were from my friend, Kelly.

Kelly and I have exercised together every week since we first met. The first time we hung out, we did a 10 mile run! After my MdDS onset trip, our “exercise” sessions turned into slow walks. Kelly accompanied me and listened to me talk about all the strange symptoms and sensory issues I was experiencing for months.

The amazing thing about Kelly is that for every one of my new challenges, she gave me a strategy or work-around to try. She is an occupational therapist and has specialized training and experience in helping people with vision and sensory issues, daily activities, fine-motor skills, and so much more.

I’m a speech-language pathologist, and although I love my career, the sensory aspects of my work environment (lights, crowds, noise, visual motion, patterns) were very draining. I needed a change.

I wanted to continue helping people with cognitive, learning, and communication needs, and spend more time helping people with vestibular disorders. I’ve dedicated so much time to studying dizziness, vertigo, and migraine in my own quest for healing, and I wanted to use what I’ve learned and experienced to be a catalyst for positive change in the lives of others.

I decided to create my own job. I want to be the person that helps answer the question, “How do I live like this?” for other people struggling to get through the day. I knew that if I was going to do it right, I would need Kelly with me. Luckily, she agreed!

I’m excited to announce that we are launching our business, Solutions for a Better Day! We want to coach you through difficult times and give you actionable steps, strategies, and support to reach your goals despite the dizziness.

If you would like to learn more or are interested in scheduling a phone call or video chat session with us, please visit our website or message me! I’d love to meet with you!

Wishing you wellness and stillness as always!


My Top 3 Coping Strategies Right Now

These coping strategies have been helping me lately and guiding my quarantine self-care:

  1. I make my exhales longer than my inhales.  It’s super simple.  I can do it anywhere at any time!  It helps keep my stress levels down and helps me relax and fall asleep when symptoms spike.  
  2. I ask myself:  If I was taking care of a little kid who had the same exact symptoms as I have right now, what would I do for them?  Then, I do it for myself.  It’s weird as adults we make ourselves do things that we would never make little kids do if they weren’t feeling well.  Before I made this rule, I’d make myself finish all my work tasks before resting. I’d eat pizza and chocolate and drink wine to “treat myself.”  I’d wait to refill my water bottle until I had a break in my schedule, even if I was thirsty.  I’d be feeling upset, and I’d make myself keep it together until I got home.  I would NEVER make a kid do that, so why would I make myself do all that?  Now I make sure I have water when I need it, eat nutritious comfort foods, let myself feel my feelings and recover, distract myself with calming and engaging activities, allow myself to rest or nap, that kind of thing.   
  3. I deliberately make time for mental stillness.  Before MdDS, if I was stressed, I had a tendency to push or work harder, put more time in, pack my weekends with fun things, etc. I realized immediately after my onset of symptoms that my old way of doing things wouldn’t work for me anymore, but it took me a while to recognize that I needed to make mental stillness a priority.  For me, that means journaling, stretching, going for walks, listening to guided meditations (I like Tara Brach’s podcast), engaging in hobbies like painting, going for weekly forest hikes with my husband, and spending quality time with loved ones (without technology involved).  I love the book Stillness is the Key by Ryan Holiday.  It really inspired me to seek out more opportunities for stillness, and it takes on another level of meaning as a reader who never experiences the actual sensation of stillness.  (If anyone ends up reading it, I would love to discuss it with you!)

What are some of your best coping strategies?  Any thoughts or ideas that help guide your self-care? 

Adjusting the Sails

Mal de Debarquement Syndrome creates a lot of daily challenges.  The “boat sensations” are constant, and I’ll get caught off guard by random spins or pulls, a flare-up of symptoms, dizziness with head movements, or head pain.  I decided to stop taking any and all prescriptions for a while, which has made the seas less predictable and more tumultuous at times. Accepting that I can’t always control my symptoms helped me seek out ways to control my attitude and reaction to them.  I’ll explain some causes of the changing tides of the last few months.  

I have all the symptoms of Vestibular Migraines.  I realized this in November after I attended a presentation about differential diagnosis of dizziness, and asked my neurologist about it.  He referred me to a new ENT, who said my symptoms clearly fit with a VM diagnosis in addition to the MdDS. They could be 2 separate issues, or the VM symptoms could be my brain’s way of dealing with or attempting to heal from the MdDS.  All the symptoms started at the same time, and it’s possible they could end at the same time. I’m holding out hope that this is the case. 

The prescription migraine preventative I was taking was possibly impeding my brain from self-healing from the MdDS. I had been taking cyproheptadine daily since April 2019 to control my migraines. The ENT explained that it is a suppressant in the same way that clonazepam is.  While it is suppressing symptoms it is also suppressing healing and progress.  It would be better for my brain to have higher symptoms, do the OKN stripes home treatment, and only take the medication as needed.  I stopped taking it daily on New Year’s Eve.

Sorting through GI issues has made the MdDS more challenging.   In late November, I suddenly started having chest pains and a spasm-like feeling in my chest.  It felt really overwhelming to have another source of internal movement! I think because of my experience having little success with doctors or long-term solutions with MdDS, I had a hard time being hopeful about it resolving.  It was also a challenge to deal with a second source of daily pain and discomfort. The process of figuring out what was wrong wasn’t easy, and it’s still not totally clear. My symptoms escalated and got much worse over the next few months until I was able to figure out some things.  Turns out I’m allergic to carrots, lettuce, and coconut. I had an endoscopy, where they found gastritis in my stomach. I also found out from a doctor friend (thanks, Alex!) that stopping the cyproheptadine likely messed with my microbiome, significantly exacerbating the original problem.  If I eat a food I’m allergic or sensitive to, I start feeling more boaty and dizzy in addition to the GI symptoms. I’ve had to completely change my diet to cope (anti-inflammatory, no milk, no acid, no sweets, etc.). The dietary changes have not improved my baseline MdDS symptoms at all, but avoiding trigger foods prevents a spike in symptoms. 

I’ve experienced too many side effects from prescriptions lately.  If a possible side effect of a medication is dizziness, it makes me dizzier. I’ve had to try a number of prescriptions and go under anesthesia for the GI issues, and they all made me feel worse than before I started taking them.  I had new, more severe GI symptoms and dizziness/lightheadedness from every prescription I tried. It took me over a week to recover fully from the dizziness caused by anesthesia.  I also think being on anesthesia made me emotional and brain-foggy for a week. It sucks that being on the cyproheptadine long-term likely impeded my healing and contributed to my GI problems.  I think being neurologically sensitive from the MdDS has made me more sensitive to literally anything I put in my body.  All of this led to my decision to stop taking any and all medications. I’ve been prescription-free since March 1st, which has its ups and downs, but I’m very hopeful I’m on a path to healing… without any side effects.   

I have to seek out advice and knowledge and make my own decisions about what works (and doesn’t work) for me.  I’ve finally learned to trust myself and take care of myself in a way that I didn’t before. I grew up just trusting that doctors would solve my medical problems.  Although they are a great source for advice or information, doctors don’t really know what is going to work for me, specifically, especially with the MdDS. There isn’t enough research or clinical knowledge out there.  No one knows how my sensitive brain (and gut apparently) will respond to anything. The only way to help myself is to get advice and experiment. For example, I realized that the only way to know if my migraines are a disorder or my brain’s healing mechanism is to allow them to happen for a few months and see what happens.  I had to figure out my own food triggers and sensitivities by cutting things out, keeping a food log, going to an allergist for tests, and researching. 

Invisible obstacles create invisible changes.  Because of all this, I’ve made progress in taking control of my mindset.  My symptoms haven’t been better, but my attitude is so much better.  Having so many daily obstacles has created no shortage of opportunities to build resilience.  I’m really hopeful that my symptoms will improve in the future, but in the meantime, I needed tools to make the most of my days right now.  I’ve realized it’s not about fixing myself or getting to some “perfect” place where I handle everything with a great attitude immediately. I still cry and freak out and have really tough days or hours or seconds, but I’m also getting really good at pulling myself together and then actually taking action to make things better and control what I can instead of complaining.  I know that habits or changes take time to make an impact, so I’ve gotten better at sticking with it and honoring my commitments to myself.  I’m better at failing and then learning from it and trying again with more knowledge. I’m trying my best to make my thoughts positive and supportive; some days it’s easier than others.  I’ve realized that I have the power to make the events of my day and life bigger and more important than any symptoms or how my body feels. I try to keep doing things even though I have to do them alongside dizziness or pain or discomfort.  I’ve realized that I don’t have to feel good to have a good day. I cannot direct the wind, but I can, and will, adjust the sails.  

How have you adjusted the sails to live with MdDS? Let me know in the comments or on instagram (@lifewithoutlandlegs)!

Wishing you many things to be grateful for, wellness, and stillness, especially in these challenging times. I hope we can all continue to adjust our sails for the unpredictable climate.